Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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