Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My vagina is officially offended.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
