U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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