Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
