God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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