I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
