allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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