If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
