I just saw a hot homeless man
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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