so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need a beard to bite.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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