I don't remember. Are we still dating?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
