he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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