we're blogging at a bar
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
