you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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