you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
