I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
