Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize