oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
