Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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