let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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