What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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