Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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