Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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