He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Drunk is not a location!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
