The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
