The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
