Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
