I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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