I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
