so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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