I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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