These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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