Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
