mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
