you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
