Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
