I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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