hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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