I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I cockslap morals
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
