considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you traded sex for a burrito?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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