You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
