I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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