Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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