so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
