Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
