he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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