Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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