Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize