Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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