you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
