Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Houston, we have a blender
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
