you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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