I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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