Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
