no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
