He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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