Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
3pm strippers are depressing
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
