I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
