ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
