you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
