Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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