Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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