Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
