some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
