how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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